Bridging three generations and a range of priorities, family travel with grandparents in tow can be both enriching and rewarding, with a few extra considerations along the way
Multi-generational family travel has become increasingly popular over the past few years, providing an opportunity for children, parents and grandparents to spend quality time together in an altogether more exciting location.
It’s not always a straightforward proposition though. Family travel is hard enough for parents when they just have their own children to consider. Factor in their parents/parents-in law, and the whole equation becomes even more complex and in need of careful planning and thought.
We’ve lived overseas for many years and these multi-generational trips have been a lifeline for us, allowing us to reconnect with our parents, give our kids valuable grandparent-time, and for us all to create hundreds of memories and experiences.
But, as with any family occasion, there is always potential for conflict. By following our tips for travelling with the grandparents, you’ll hopefully remember the trip for all the right reasons.
Feature photo is from a trip to Langkawi with the grandparents. Everyone loved it so much, we’ve booked to take the grandparents there again on their next trip to Penang!
A quick note on generalisations
Not every grandparent is built the same. Some are fitter than the grandkids and have backpacked their whole lives. Others have never left home, have mobility issues, and find the whole prospect of travelling terrifying.
These tips are imagining a grandparent somewhere in the middle. One who is still fairly active and can withstand some rough and ready transport where needed, but might not have the same energy levels they had thirty years ago. You know your own family, so tailor these tips to them.
1. Work out everyone’s priorities
When it’s just your own family, it’s easier to take control and make decisions. If your kids are slightly older, they might have some input into itineraries and destinations, but you’re basically the boss.
Introduce grandparents into the mix and it suddenly becomes a democracy. No-one is going to have the final say, so you need to work out what everyone’s priorities are and build them into the schedule.
Are you all keen to simply spend time together and relax, or is this going to be a once in a lifetime trip that needs all the bells and whistles to make it memorable?
2. Look for compromises
Once you have everyone’s priorities locked in, now’s the time to look for compromises. Unless you’re lucky enough to be travelling for months on end, there’ll come a point where you need to prune your itinerary and select the absolute must-dos.
If some of you are desperate for adventure but others want to relax, is there a country that offers amazing beachside hotels and epic natural experiences?
Would the grandparents be happy roughing it for a couple of nights so you have some budget left for a five-star hotel at the next destination? Or would the kids be prepared to traipse around a museum for Grandad’s sake if he promises to try out the scariest ride at tomorrow’s theme park?
And remember, you don’t have to do every activity together. Different family members can go off to different activities, and that’s absolutely normal.
3. Ditch the suitcases
Large wheelie-suitcases might seem like a good solution for the grandparents but they’re a false economy. If you’re planning to do any ‘proper’ travelling, there’ll be days where you need to board a busy train or jump onto a crowded city bus, and a suitcase will hold you all back.
A small, well-made backpack is ideal for travelling days and they don’t need to be so heavy that grandparents can’t carry them. Lightweight packs are available online and they’ll encourage you all to pack lightly and focus on the things you actually need.
Trust us: struggling to drag a suitcase along cobblestones on a busy city street is not going to make anyone’s life easier.
5. Don’t underestimate jetlag
Forget the tips and hacks online; jetlag isn’t something you can easily beat and it can be brutal. Although it affects all ages, it can be particularly troublesome if you already find a full night’s sleep elusive.
A good rule of thumb is that for every hour of time difference, it’ll take one day to recover from jetlag. Grandparents might find this especially challenging, all at the stage of the trip where you want to be having fun.
Consider prioritising destinations in a similar time zone (remember that doesn’t necessarily mean staying close to home, we’re talking about lines of longitude here, not air miles).
6. Splitting bills
Nothing creates tension more than talking about money with family, so try and set ground rules early on about who is paying for what and when. This means everything on the trip, from bus tickets all the way to expensive hotel stays.
Are you planning to split all bills 50/50? Or, if you’re travelling with two children, two parents and two grandparents (for example), should it be split so the grandparents only pay for their share? Work these things out in advance and life will feel a whole lot easier each time the bill arrives.
7. Childcare expectations
Perhaps the most contentious one on our list: childcare. This one really depends on your setup at home and how often the grandparents help out.
Do you parents expect a few nights out while the grandparents watch the kids, or is that not going to happen? Might they watch the children for a couple of hours while you have a massage?
Alternatively, the grandparents might have not received the memo and instead see this as their own holiday, with the occasional ten minutes of childcare while you take a shower. Expectations are key here, so make sure they’re set as early as possible.
Nothing creates more tension more than one of you getting the wrong end of the stick and being faced with a completely different trip to what you’d imagined.
8. Be honest with each other before and on the trip
It starts with a throwaway conversation over Sunday dinner and quickly evolves into concrete plans. Before you know it, the flights are booked and the grandparents have agreed to a three-week trek through the Sumatran rainforest. The lesson here: don’t agree to a trip just to be polite.
And this can work in reverse. You might have been dreaming of an adventurous trip to Borneo but end up agreeing to a fortnight in Portugal because that’s what your parents wanted. Resentment can grow quickly in these cases and your trip turns into something to endure rather than enjoy.
Be honest about what you all want from a trip and don’t agree to it unless you can see something in it for you. As we talked about earlier, a little compromise is always going to be needed, but not to the extent where you’re agreeing to your worst nightmare.
9. Private transport can be best
It’s easy to forget how tiring travel can be, particularly those long days where you need to get from A to B. Overnight sleeper trains and day-long bus rides can be exciting and adventurous, but they can take some recovering from, especially if you’re at the older end of the travelling scale.
Getting from your hotel, to the train station, finding the right platform, queueing to board, sitting for hours on end, and then getting to your next hotel, can be a tiring proposition. Never underestimate the power of a door-to-door private transfer that collects you from your hotel and deposits you directly outside the next one.
There’s no shame in ditching the adventurous route every now and then, sometimes a bit of luxury can reset everyone’s tolerance for overnight bus journeys.
10. Where are the best destinations for multi-generational trips?
You’ve read all the tips and got the hard bit out of the way. Now it’s time for the exciting stage and actually planning where to go. Our website is full of ideas for family travel, but as a few quick suggestions, consider these destinations for travelling with the grandparents.
Thailand
READ OUR GUIDE: Thailand with kids
Idyllic islands, golden beaches, mega cities, amazing food and stunning temples, Thailand is a vast country that has long been popular with travellers of all ages. It works especially well for multi-generational trips, with a wide range of affordable, elegant accommodation.
Malaysia
READ OUR GUIDE: Malaysia with kids
Split between Peninsular Malaysia and Borneo, this is an excellent country if you’re looking for somewhere to compromise and cater to different requirements.
A week or so can be spent on Borneo, exploring the rivers and rainforests, before returning to Kuala Lumpur for its modern living and creature comforts. The glorious islands of Penang and Langkawi are then only a short flight away, ideally placed for family-friendly hotels and culture.
Portugal
READ OUR GUIDE: Lisbon with kids
One of the most established countries in the world for family tourism, Portugal is a good choice if you’re looking for reliable accommodation and beach time, with the option to explore beautiful cities such as Lisbon. Well-served by flights from mainland Europe, this might be a good option for your first trip together to road-test how you all get on away from home.
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